Where the F#*K has Sascha been. Part 1...

Ok I know I'm a terrible Blogger. I've neglected the bloggosphere for weeks. My poor mother is on her death bed because the world is so horrible and without my witty repartee she has nothing to live for. Actually she just has the flu. See? Now I'm lying. Oh where will my horribleness end?!

How about right now dearest readers! That's right, I'm back with a vengeance and a burning desire to recap and over share. How does that sound? Fantastic!

I'm writing to you, once again, from sunny LA. But how on earth did I get myself back here? I here you ask. Well here's how. Cue Flashback music and wavy screen transition....

Our story begins in Nashville. Actually it began in San Francisco where I flew out of. It was here that I realised that my pants had a massive hole in the crotch. How long was this hole there? It certainly wasn't there when I got dressed to leave. And of course by the time this discovery was made my luggage, including all other pants, had already been checked onto the plane. Never fear, resourceful as anyone who attend CSU's Design for T&T, I used the pin from my "Happy Birthday Sascha" Disneyland badge to save me from further embarrassment. Lucky I wore undies that day.

So Nashville, where the lovely Linda collected me and off we went to Manchester. As Bonnaroo Volunteers (because we are cheap), we had to check in two days early and hang about until the happenings of the festival began a-happening. All I can say about those two days was that it was very hot and we set up a lovely campsite complete with Australian patriotism and battle cats.

Battle Cats Not Included

  

When the Roo officially began, I was introduced to my Volunteer Assignment. There was no trash (that means rubbish here) picking up for this little black duck, oh no, I was assigned to the Golf Cart Pool. I spent my two shifts being a golf buggy valet and at one point got to go on a buggy safari, on the hunt for stolen carts. Add to this amazingly enjoyable occupation the fact that neither of my shifts were scheduled at the same time as any of the bands I wanted to see, I felt like the luckiest Roo-ster in Manchester.

And what of the Bands? I hear you ask. Stellar. Never in Australia have I seen a festival line up of this magnitude. Public Enemy, Beastie Boys, Ani Difranco, MGMT (always thought this song was called Electric FIELD. Huh.), Bruce (The Boss) Springsteen (who treated everyone to a rendition of Santa Claus is coming to town), The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and my man, Snoop Dogg all on the one line up.

Erika Badu, a favourite of mine since high school, was phenomenal. Although the lady is not rocking the turban these days, her set had so much bass in it that I could feel my oesophagus vibrate. Girl Talk, had his own party up on stage with half the audience. Actually, no where close to half. That set was packed out. Kaki King (I do love me some Kaki) was shirtless! Although I did find the Yeah Yeah Yeahs playing one stage over some what distracting during Kaki's set. Karen O was going off.

I have nothing to say about Rodrigo y Gabriela except that they were amazing and my stand out favourite of the festival. Also, you should all listen to a Norwegian four piece called Katzenjammer. That's an order. They are not only adorable but their vocal harmonies are beautiful and they swapped instruments for every song. Those girls know how to put on a show.

I feel I should also mention Andrew Bird. Linda loves this man. She would possibly consider having his babies. He used to be the fiddler for a little group called The Squirrel Nut Zippers (whom I have just discovered have a FREE gig here in LA this month - Jealous, brother?) and also had a little something called Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire. Both were/are incredible. His new solo stuff, which he was playing at the Roo, is not as incredible as the aforementioned. But Linda did get the man to sign her Violin and that made her very happy.

Now I may have mentioned my fondness for Snoop Dogg before. While I do still love the man for his general snoop-ness, I suspect he may only have three songs. Also the crowd watching his set felt something a kin to spring break Cancun. To be expected really.

The Roo was indeed all the magic a festival should be. It was hot and dirty and muddy and rainy and smelly and heaps fun. I did not shower for a week - in true festival spirit and because,  despite free showers being offered to Volunteers I did not feel it important enough to wait in line for an hour to get one. Speaking of facilities, the USA, land of opportunity, does not have porter loos that flush. Nor do they have sinks. Come on guys, is this 1996? I can't remember the last Australian festival I attended where the facilities were so primitive. Oh well at least I know well enough not to fall in one. 

 

Return of The Ev-I

Actually the Big Ev never stopped I just forgot to tell you guys about it. My darling Blogosphere, how I've neglected you. Apologies to my fans, in particular Kym who has not had a reason to get out of bed since the introduction of Super Diva.

I think maybe I've been in a bit of a non-blogity funk after leaving the fabulous people of LA to be all alone in the wilds of San Francisky.  Actually I'm not alone at all. I'm staying with my Mum's Half Brother's Wife's Twin Sister. She is mothering me as best she can, cooking for me more than my own does and warning me of the wiles of being a single gal in North America. It's all very sweet if not a tad unnecessary.

So the question is, what, o what have I've been getting myself into since we last met. Well, there has been much sitting on couches but that hardly amounts to news. Also there was this:

The happiest, most lovely work place in the world.

I went to Grauman's Chinese Theatre and saw the concrete. Here's me, (auto) straddling Susan Sarandon's teeny tiny feet:

Then saw Terminator Salvation inside Grauman's Chinese Theatre. Now, I'll admit I wasn't paying all that much attention but this film actually isn't even that very good. This is my summation: 

Christen Bale is all serious and using his Batman voice. Lots of really loud explosions go off and bullets fly. Then a man appears covered in chocolate pudding. Turns out pudding man is a robot which is obvious about 2 minutes after the pudding is gone but is not actually revealed for another hour. Then someone says" come with me if you want to live" followed by more loud, ear shattering, explosions.  I don't know how kids these days can stand it. I had to turn the hearing aid down. 

Christen Bale is still all super serious and says "I'll be back". Suddenly Helena Bonham Carter appears as a super smart robot and a complete waste of her talents. Pudding man is tackled by by a Computer generated, porn star days, Arnie. I assume it was CG because the Governator certainly does not look like that anymore. Explosions, bullets, Christen Bale gets impaled and robot pudding man donates his heart so that Christan Bale can continue his super serious bat voiced tirade. Aaaaaaand Scene.

After several more infuriating days on LA public transport it was farewell City of Angels hello San Francisco! And its many flavoured burrows. I've been to Fisherman's Wharf for clam chowder, seen murals in Mission, rainbows in The Castro, drug addicts in the Tenderloin, Chinatown, Downtown, and! and! Alcatraz!

At Fisherman's Wharf they have a place dedicated to old school arcade games. We're not talking Pacman and Pog, I'm talking REAL old school. For 5c this house told me my fortune was to marry four times: 

and this wizard dude told me my job will be this:

Anyone know what a taxi dancer is? Is that like Shirley Maclaine in Sweet Charity? Is that like a whore? Fair enough.

Then on Saturday I went to The Maker's Faire in San Mateo. Oh Lordy, geeks everywhere! And the really incredibly encouraging thing was that most people there were young. They were my age and really interested in creating stuff. Yay the world! Yay Gen Y! Yay the future!

I particularly liked this:

You can purchase it here.

It seems the kids these days are into Steampunk and LEDs. See, I'm hip.

Then there was art at SFMOMA and De Young Museum, most notably the R. Mutt Urinal, and exploratoring and the Exploratorium. Alas it was freeby day so all the kiddies were getting in the way of my play time. Brats! Every one of them!

That sounds bout it. Except for the Prop 8 rally I saw. I have a lot of feelings about the validity of rallies. I'm not entirely sure they do much actual furthering of the cause. But that's a conversation for another time.

On Monday I fly to BON-A-ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm totally going to meet Snoop Dogg. You know you're jealous.