One way or another, I'm going to find you...

I have recently been introduced to this secretly awesome underground nerd-burgery thing. I'm not even sure if I should say, it might be like Fight Club and i may get dead.... Probs not.
It's called Geocaching and it goes something a little like this.

Imagine the Easter Bunny was real, but instead of a bunny it was thousands of strangers all over the world, and instead of hiding chocolate eggs - because lets be honest, what was a bunny doing with eggs or chocolate in the first place? - it's containers of various sizes that hold no more value than the personal satifaction of finding them. Add in a bit of gps gadgetry and cryptic clues and thats geocaching.

These thing are everywhere, literally. You know that tiny hole of a town you live in? There is probs one there. That park you used to play in as a kid or the car park you visit every week to do your shopping? Bet there's one there too.

These pictures would totally make sense if you were a geo-nerd*

The Big Ev is on the hunt. Current tally: 9 found.


*Not an actual acceptable term for  a Geocacher 

Wouldn't it be nice if the world was LEGO....

As a child, LEGO was one of my favorite toys. Sure I had Barbies but it was LEGO that I kept returning to. My Barbie narratives revolved largely around getting married to one of my Brother's He-Men figures (I never did get an actual Ken doll. Read into that what you will.) Even in the case of my favorite Barbie, the independent and professional Dr. Barbie, she still went and got herself married to this guy, time and time again.
With LEGO though, my avatar was a scientist, a detective, she built her own house, albeit without walls, and all without the help of a cowboy or a spaceman, sometimes she was even the spaceman too.

So given this admiration for the wonderful and empowering imaginative substance that is LEGO, you can understand my excitement when I was invited to go to LEGOLAND in Carlsbad, California.

This place is big, but as we were there with children we didn't get to all the rides. Having said that, the roller-coaster-loving four year old went on more rides then any of us, while the seven year old was happily occupied in a giant room of Xbox.
What most excited me, however, was the miniatures, and you know how I love me a miniature.
Look its a tiny LEGO Hollywood Bowl;

   
and a tiny LEGO Guggenhiem;

and a tiny LEGO Sydney Opera House;

and a tiny LEGO chick getting pulled over by the Po-po.

A-Mazing.

But it wasn't all tiny LEGO things. There were GIANT LEGO thing too.
Look, he's Giant LEGO Einstein;

and Giant LEGO dancing giraffes;

and a creepy italian man with a camel;

Look here, I made a car!

I remember going to LEGO exhibitions as a kid somewhere in Sydney when the city was still a magical and geographically confusing place. The exhibitions consisted of rooms and rooms of entirely LEGO tableaus. Then we got to ride the monorail. Weeeeeeeeeeeee. Thanks for that, Mum.

To cap off a lovely rainy day at LEGOLAND I found the most awesomely cool bit of LEGO merch ever invented. "Cooler than LEGO man ice-cube trays?" I hear you say. Yes, kids. Oh yes.

My new LEGO Mp3 Player

Get up, a get, get, down...

Last night I had my first skunk encounter. I stumbled across it in some ones front yard, mere blocks from my house. It was very exciting until it started to puff itself up and I had to run away.

Amidst all the bread and cold, I also found time yesterday to go to the Vancouver Police Museum. The place was deserted allowing me to run slightly amuck although I did get yelled at for trying to open the "morgue" body draws. I can not help being naturally curious and their warning signs were posted above my head. Who looks up these days? That's so 1998.

I clearly have forgotten how to express myself through proper sentences so today you shall be treated to a photo blog of sorts.

Firstly, This is creepy:

Secondly,

Things I have Learned About the Vancouver Police Force.

The Vancouver Police have Robots. Robots for Justice!

Canadian Police Officers have blue sclera, poorly illustrated by this photo. Trust me, the whites of his eyes are a lovely baby blue.

Vancouver Police Officers are bandits for the human pyramid.

Sometimes they like getting stoned

So do their Ponies.

At such times, the ponies get the munchies for small children.

Sometimes, dogs find them tiresome...

...except for this one,

who was trying really hard to be selected for the Dog Squad.

Poor puppy didn't quite make the team.

Owls are the scourge of the criminal underworld.

Next,

 Quaint Curiosities from the Vancouver Police Museum

The Coroners Candy Cane of Death.

Each layer of pills has caused a death.

Home Made Weaponry

The Mace has a certain rustic charm but why, if you had a hand gun

would you pull it apart to turn it into a knife. Silly Criminals.

A Hand Smeered with BBQ Sauce.

The tempting Morgue Drawers that got me into trouble



The contents of the body bag.
(It was already unzipped, I just peered inside)

Clearly realism wasn't important to this particular exhibit

and yet, they did attempt to give the "body" a cause of death,
albeit a fairly poor one.

And lastly, there is this:

There is so many things I could say about this amazing image that I'm lost for words. If I had more than three readers this would, indeed, be a caption contest image. There are just so many question I have about this one.

I feel I should point out that I have no issues with the Canadian Police Force. I am sure they are doing a bang-up job. It seems clear, however, that the curator of this Museum has a sense of humour as I hope the Police Force does as well.


Also,  giant beaver:

Hey now, don't dream its over.

Hello my little squirrels! Apologies for leaving you adrift in the big, bad world for so long.
I am now, settled in Vancouvie, after several tumultuous weeks of sad good byes in LA and a cold, rainy hello to Canada. I spent my initial time here canvassing for work and a home. I now have both. I start tomorrow at a lovely bakery/cafe that already thinks I'm the shiz and wants to make me supervisor and I am busy getting comfy in a lovely house in Kits (that's Kitsilano to the foreigners) with two lovely cats and their two lovely people.

Here is your first glance of Vancouver:

On the weekend my homies took me mushroom picking on a nearby mountain. We were hunting for Chanterelles. We did not find any. More to come, squirrels. I really promise this time.

There'll be time enough for counting...

Today, I walked around for about an hour with my fly undone, but we're not here to talk about that. We're talking about my weekend in shiny shiny Vegas!!

We walked the Strip, saw a naughty Vegas show, lay about a roof top pool, and of course, got our gamble on where we actually made money! Seems we know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, except we weren't playing poker but wonderful wonderful craps. That's the one where you throw the dice down the table. Turns out I'm not a bad little roller.

The girl swears we ended at least one hundred dollars in front. To me, the weekend was a blur of twenty dollar bills and five dollar chips, so I'll trust her mathematics. These are my Benjamin's:

While we're on the subject of silly American money, check out this dollar bill I got somewhere around San Francisco:

It's a keeper.

The dealers at the Stratosphere - our hotel, that looks rather a lot like the Seattle Space Needle - were super friendly, as were most of the men playing at our table. I, may or may not, have had a slightly low cut t-shirt on at the time. It is also quite possible, that one of the dealers got all flustered and confused resulting in us getting more money. Of course, it is also very possible that we didn't quite know all the rules and he was just doing his job.

Unfortunately, with all the excitement I left my camera in the hotel room when we walked the strip. I picked up a disposable camera along the way in hope of grungy yet artist photos. But all I got was dark. Here is the Flamingo to illustrate said photo quality.

On Saturday night, we saw Zumanity! Finally, finally, I got to see the naughty naughty adults-only Cirque Du Soleil. It was quite enjoyable and had much more of a cabaret format than the other Cirque's I've seen (think I'm up to five now) but truth be told, I feel I've become a little jaded. It was all very polished and practised of course, but this somehow made it feel a little tame. For a passionate subject matter the passion had wilted away into routine. It seems Zumanity has represented yet another aspect of sexual relations, albeit unintentionally. As usual though, fabulous costumes and production values. Also the clowns were not the usual, confusingly strange French-Canadian kind and actually were quiet funny...

Too harsh? In case it ever comes up, remind me never to become a critic.

(Actually, the link on the second Zumanity is a "making-of" which is getting interesting. I may have more opinions on the show once I finish watching the 4 parts. Watch this space, as they say.)

On a completely different note, do you like Pirates and Homeless people? Yes? Then you will love this guy. I met him while working downtown. He gave me his card. It was a surprisingly professional looking business card.

...it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

For several weeks now, I have been volunteering for a crazy ex-cowboy who is doing good arty things downtown. The man has done much for revitalising what used to be skid row. He has instigated a wonderful art event once a month and moved many independent designers into store fronts around the area. But his lack of linear thought is preventing me from tooting his triumphs too loudly. He has somehow associated me with secretarial duties and so I have frequently been called in to note-take on our strolls around downtown. The plus side, of course, is that I, now, know Downtown like the back of my hand and every so often get a sneak peak at a beautiful, old, closed-down theatre. The event we have been working towards is this Thursday. Hopefully then I will be able to stop checking my email a bajillion times a day on the off chance I may be of some use.

Also, I'm going to Vegas on Friday so nothing else matters really. I will finally get to see naughty naked Cirque Du Soleil and the girl likes to gamble so I guess I'll be doing some of that too. A review site just told me "don't take your mom" to this show, however, I think Mummy would enjoy some scantily clad acrobats and if she was here I would insist she she the show... Perhaps I should actually see the show before recommending it to my mother.

In other news, it seems I have discovered a sport I like. It's called Roller Derby. Basically its a bunch of tattooed chicks roller skating in circles while trying to nudge each other out of the way. Observe here. Also, keep your beady eyes peeled for a Drew Barrymore/ Ellen Page film called Whip it!

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

So I've been AWOL for a while. I know. And I've got some recapping/'splaining to do. But let's just know I didn't and pretend I did. Our little secret. Because truth is, I don't want to recount days of old while I'm still living the here and now.

So if, in the near future, I reference something that seems new and confusing. Don't be afraid, my little squirrels. Just hold tight and I will do my best to get you up to speed.

For now though, I will not be telling you of my past adventures. No accounts of Drag shows in Austin, no yarns of crazy hot nights sleeping in a van throughout the South, no tales of Seattle Space Needles or Disney in the Dark Burlesque. These will no doubt come though.

Be Patient squirrels, be patient.